I normally don't blog on Monday's, but this piece is special, so I thought I'd talk about it. It reminds me of myself in many ways. Yes, I can see that the figure in the painting is a woman, and yes, I'm a man, but I am a man with a very well developed feminine side, and no, I'm not ashamed of that in the least. On the contrary, I'm as proud of that as I am any of my other attributes. That being said, let's get back to the topic at hand, this painting. I completed it last night and it really speaks of my life, and I suspect the lives of many of us that have had no choice but to push through some really awful times. I call it She Keeps Going.
When I say "have no choice", obviously, I don't mean no choice at all, I suppose you can just roll over and let whatever the circumstances are beat you, and I'd be lying if I tried to say I didn't have the momentary inclination to do just that. Let's face it, life can be tough, mine was, and is no exception. In fact, in many ways, my life has been almost 49 years of choppy waters with obstacles and sharks popping up out of the dark seas. Some obstacles, I admittedly put there myself, others were deliberately planted by others, motivated by all kinds of insanity (jealousy, fear, anger) and some even motivated by a misguided concern for my well-being. I, as you know, was a misfit from day one, school, the work world, both left me feeling like I was alone in a stormy ocean, bobbing around on a cork, just hanging on until I could find the shore (gotta keep the nautical theme going). Relationships were pretty much the same (until I came back to my true love). When things were good, and of course, there were good times, it always seemed that something came along and threw a monkey wrench into it all and there I was, back on that damn ocean bobbing around again. It seemed to happen so often that I began to spoil the good times with the constant fear of the coming storm.
After the momentary lapses wherein I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity, each time, I gave my head a shake and kept going, because in truth, the only real way through a tough time is to head straight "through" it to the other side. And each and every time, I made it through to something better. And after having to learn the lesson over and over again, it finally stuck, and this piece is a reminder of that lesson, life won't always be smooth sailing, but when the seas get rough, ride out the waves till you see the shore, it may be close, it may be far away, but it's always there. And once you're there, don't be afraid to enjoy it, yes, you may find yourself drifting again one day, but you'll also be back on terra firma. Oh, and as an aside, and an added fun bonus, once you've reached the shore and are finally on good, firm solid ground, boy, does that ever piss off those people that put obstacles in front of your boat! :)